Why is Sindoor Khela Restricted to Just Married Women?
Phew! So, the much awaited festival of the year finally saw the light of the day, leaving all of us heavy hearted. Guess, most of us have already started counting the days for the upcoming year’s Pujo! Well, justified it is!
Now, I write this piece at a time when most of us are still exchanging Bijaya (rather Bijoya) greetings, and our social media is literally flooded with vibrant images of couples either decked up in traditional attire with enormous smiles on their countenances or married women, with their faces painted in red with vermillion literally smashed all over. This is a really a pleasant sight for all, I don't feel any different!
But, while we get ourselves immersed into married women's tales and expressions, did we for a moment notice the so called widow standing at a corner, gazing at the deity, maybe recalling her years of happiness when she too was 'eligible' to greet the deity? She visits the pandal today, no doubt and no wonder, but she is draped in a saree in a colour that is no where close to red! She is barred from greeting the deity, she cannot participate in the sindoor exchanges' and can't even feed sweets to the others present there' because her very presence is considered 'unholy'. Although, there was literally no contribution to her husband's death. But. Because the society calls her a widow, she has to bear the brunt of it, all through her life… We remind her at every possible occasion that she is a WIDOW, her place is somewhere else, far away from the throng!
She can under no circumstances be allowed to greet Maa Durga. She is a widow after all!
Now, things happened all this while, because we let it happen. Ever since we were kids weren't we taught by our Constitution that it provides for equality to all, irrespective of any differences based on caste, creed, colour, and gender? If we are given this fundamental right by the Constitution, then who are we to discriminate?
We have our excuses ready here too, that this is what the culture and society has taught us. This is how it has always been. Did we even for a second question the norm? Or would it be too much outside of our comfort zone, to talk outside our so called societal circumference?
Isn't the widow a creation of Maa Durga? Is it not our responsibility to usher her, if possible forcibly hold her hand and tell her to greet Maa Durga, as we all do?
Why do we have to constantly remind her of her marital status, can we for a while not cause her happiness, by involving her in our ritual, because men are even spotted to be moving around with vermillion smeared faces, so why can't women who don't have husbands?
Why is this prevalence of partiality when clearly God himself never mentioned any? Why is Sindoor Khela just restricted to married women and not inclusive of the widows?
