Practising Emptiness In Reality
Some of you must have guessed this already, the headline itself makes it quite clear. This blog here is going to talk about how much this emptiness philosophy that I wrote previously in my blog pans out in reality.
Truth to be told, and since this is my blog I don’t have an option but be absolutely honest here as it’s my very own blog. Let me begin with a few lines from William Blake’s poem “Eternity” where he mentioned something like this. “He who binds himself a joy, does the winged life destroy; he who kisses as it flies, lives in eternity’s sunrise.”
When I heard these lines initially, I was full of philosophy and stoicism, and discovered that my senses said that nothing could be more real than this. Although I did see success on a couple of occasions, yet more often than not, I find it difficult to digest and that’d mess up my physical health altogether.
A few days back, a dear friend of mine said that I have to let go of this unidentified “fear” within me, as I was acting from a fearful stand, then everything would go haywire eventually and worst of all, I won’t be able to do anything about it. I kinda agreed with him and when I do hear about any scripture or spiritual text, it asks us to be fearless, and that one must be absolutely free of fear.
Now, it’s not that I operate from an area of fear, but somewhere deep down tiny things really do affect me, and while I say this, I do realise that it’s completely not in my hands to control how the others would react, I can only control myself. And, honestly, even though after many days of continuous practice I am able to control what’s happening outside, it kind of ruptures me from the inside.
And that, my dear friends, isn’t a very happy feeling. I begin questioning my ethics and can identify a mild chest pain that more than one hundred percent has to do with my mental health, with things that aren’t going my way, with things that I can’t control. Also, to be honest, with things that’ll never work my way.
Sometimes I do feel so blank and hollow in myself that I no longer know how to hold on. These are the times when I do see my own people turning their backs, or just merely narrowing down my existence or so many years of dedication merely to be governed by societal standards.
Somewhere deep down I feel that I have made my peace with all of this, and I know that no matter what I do, how much I sacrifice, these things aren’t going to change at all. And, I do not expect them to. What’s bothering me now is, in spite of knowing that all of my complaints are nothing but just mere emptiness, I fail to act accordingly.
I continue being miserable sometimes, and just wonder if there is any truth in these philosophies? Also I question myself, how long before I realise the truth and act accordingly?
