Even though I did talk a lot about the topic, which is supposedly the headline, today I am going to narrate something from my personal experience of letting go. This is centered around my profesional space, majorly me getting rebuked by my boss.
If I have to be truly honest, I’d have to say that it was me who was at fault, as I wasn’t feeling too well when this happened, and I was kind of stretching myself — and obviously if I were to pay heed to my health, then there’d be a lot of holidays that I’d have to take.
So, I just decided to slog and pull through in the hope that things are going to work out and that I am going to feel better soon. So, I received this forwarded message from a PR person that I shared with my bosses where it mentioned that the mail was for an interview opportunity and not for a byline opportunity.
At first I didn’t understand that and it was my boss that pointed it out to me, and in return I had written that my pitch to them was for a byline opportunity and not for an interview — then I got severely rebuked by my Head boss where he did get really expressive and said that my immediate boss was right in pointing that out and he wrote everything in red then.
Hearing this, I had a severe nervous breakdown. It felt as if the earth was disappearing below my feet and that there wasn’t anything left in my life anymore. I wanted to scream, shout at the top of my lungs and announce to them that I am not as unworthy as they think me to be, but there was little that I could do about it.
I cried for a long time, had a severe headache the following day and really worked with a heavy heart all day, only to realise that the world doesn’t owe me anything, the people in my office owe me nothing, and so do my friends and relatives. It was my fault, I had to accept it, understand the difference and move on, and eventually let go.
Honestly, in our daily lives we do come across many such instances where life has been so very unfavourable to humans and just because of that they can’t be sitting at one place all day long and shed tears. They gotta stand up on their feet, understand what they have to do, and get back in shape again.
It’s exactly been a week since that incident, and honestly I am still figuring out ways to cope with it. But, today I know that I am much stronger than I was last week, and perhaps also a little more knowledgeable. Well, I am not saying that I will not be vulnerable anymore, but now I guess and hope from the bottom of my heart that I’ll be operating from a sense of maturity.
Maybe I have learnt to face my vulnerabilities, my weaknesses, maybe I have started to look upon them as my very own. Maybe they’ve become very close to my heart, and I am not ashamed of them anymore. Maybe I have learnt to become more accepting. Maybe I have learnt to let go…