Finding The Self
Should I say finding or rediscovering? Rediscovering the very me that was once splashed and painted with this magnanimous aura of love and care. Carefree. Yes, that’s the exact word that could describe the state of mind, perhaps. Or was that just an illusion? Was it ever carefree at all, or bogged down by the horrendous standards set up by the society? Possibly the latter.
Some say that bizarre situations and circumstances have shaped them for what they are today. And, I question that. For sure, the world is going to throw challenges at you, poor soul time and again, but does that mean you fall back? Are you not supposed to rise above, face the hiccups valiantly, and then emerge stronger? Why would you choose to corner yourself and wail?
What good has it done so far? Or should you allow yourself to take a step back, let the self analyse situations from a third person’s lens and then re introduce yourself to this newly found acquaintance? And how is the new Self you ask? Also, why is the “S’” of the “Self” capitalised? Oh! That’s because after aeons of waiting deliberately, writhing in pain, you come to realise that it’s here, right here. And what does it look like? Does it come wrapped in its own flaws too?
Well, this is the Self that waters can’t wet, winds can’t blow, and the fire can’t burn. It’s right here and invincible. It’s so mesmerising that no words can speak for itself and substantiate its duty for what it is. You see, language seems to have its own barriers. This Self just lets you be and transcend into a plethora of happiness, peace and bliss. A place where you are ever sorted, a place where you don’t seem to complain anymore about anything.
And, equip yourself with a staunch and amiable sound of silence. Silence that is louder than words, silence that makes its presence deeply felt, silence that is ever liberating. You ask if the Self is this magnificent, where was it hiding so far? Was it basking in the glory of something else more promising? The Self on being ridiculed, smiles a little and says that it was all along and right in front so far, just that you didn’t have the eyes to spot it.
Really? How could that be you feel and hold yourself accountable for every action of yours, and how could you have possibly missed this? Were you, therefore, clouded by worldly affairs that did nothing more than drown you even more in your sorrows? Uh huh, but now that you know the Self what are you going to do about it? Would you let it tag along and be your little friend in all your expeditions?
Or would you cast off the delusion that you are this form and would just go with the Self? It’s now and this time that you’ve managed to convince yourself and no matter what comes your way, you will hold on to your newly found identity.
But, what if you slip, like the previous times? Would you gather the courage to pick yourself up again?
Yes, and that’s because now that you have reconciled with your newly found Self that ain’t going nowhere.