As I started my day, I came across a beautiful post by Maya Angelou where she did talk about rising again. Actually, her post wasn’t that simple, it was here that she said that if anyone points a finger at her or insults her, she’ll rise again from there.
I don’t know, but quite unknowingly when I was reading the text it felt as if such words of encouragement were all that mattered at that point in time and that I should have stuck to those forms of thinking. It also did remind me of the bird “Phoenix”, one that is reduced to ashes, and it’s from these ashes that it does rise again.
There have been innumerable times in my life when I do experience a sudden nervous breakdown and feel like this is it, and I can’t be continuing any further from here, and that I must give up. These thoughts have been quite repetitive in the past few days, guess with the arrival of the pandemic and with lockdowns and stuff, and of course, it’s not a secret to note that even though working from home might sound like a privilege, but there are times when it does get taxing.
While I mention all of this, I must state that it was as recent as yesterday where I had a nervous breakdown all over again, and this time I really did want to give up. It was almost like I collapsed to the ground, and felt like screaming on top of my lungs that I am giving up. I stayed put like that for about an hour, and gradually it was as if someone knocked some sense into me and realised that I am much more powerful than this.
I got up, dusted myself up and tried addressing my problems and facing my fears. And quite magically when I did get up to face these problems, I discovered that they vanished soon after, and that a majority of my problems were perhaps self-created.
And after that episode, I feel much lighter and stronger from the inside today as I began work and even better as the day progressed. Having said that I am pretty much sure that I might face such difficulties again in the near future, but then again I gotta remind myself of my true nature, capabilities and the fact that failures are the pillars of success and with every fall, there is an opportunity to rise up again.